Originally Posted by nycindie
Regarding your ex having lied about not having orgasms, well, that's just what a lot of women were taught to do in our highly repressive society. If we don't cum, we are shamed into thinking there is something wrong with us, and if we want sex a lot or for our sex lives to improve, we are made to feel like worthless sluts - so who the heck would speak up if they were not able to climax easily unless they were able and ready to question all that and pursue satisfaction.
In a way you are contributing to that mindset with your current gf, by making whether she has orgasms or not so important. RELAX and enjoy what you've got and just keep reminding yourself to stay in the moment and that she is not your ex-wife.
Take the "worrying about whether or not she orgasms" out of the equation and figure out if you're both enjoying your intimate time together. If the answer is "yes" then what difference does it make?
If your GF has been honest before, then trust her to be honest in the future. And if she tells you she didn't have an orgasm and she says that's okay? BELIEVE HER. Some of us don't have to get off every time to have a good time. I don't have to reach the top of the mountain to enjoy my hike, y'know?
Mono. Divorced, two kids (DanceGirl, 13; and PokéGirl, 10), two cats, one house, many projects.
My partner. Poly. In relationships with me, Xena, and Noa.
Poly. In relationships with Chops and Noa, and dating others.
Married, Poly. In relationships with Chops and Xena (individually).
Blog thread: A Mono's Journey Into Poly-Land (or, "Aw hell, there's no road map?!")
Slightly more polished blog with a mono/poly focus: From Baltic to Boardwalk