Yeah, I seriously hate this idea we're taught in society that it's a man's responsibility to make sure a woman cums. I had a friend who used to keep track and if her bf didn't get her there, she would put him in the owesies column for next time and say he had to make it up to her. I couldn't get over that.
You know who makes sure I cum? Me. Yeah, it's awesome if my partner gets me off - woohoo, I've had some mind-blowing experiences and I am happy and grateful for them - but if a guy can't do it for me, I do myself. And, if I can't get off, it's more than likely not the guy's fault at all - I'm just not able to relax enough or get out of my head. It's no one's "duty" to bring me to climax. If he finishes first, or if a lot of effort has gone into trying to "make me" cum and it ain't happening, well then I say, "Hold onto me, honey, touch this and do that while I use my toy." And sometimes, I have had such a good time, it doesn't even matter if I climaxed or not, if I would rather just enjoy holding this man and reveling in the connection we just made. I'll treat myself later.
There's a sex toy store here in NYC called Babeland, and I got a magnet there once with a purchase, and it says: "Laugh and don't be afraid to make a mess." I love that because I've always laughed a lot during sex - why not? It doesn't have to be so serious all the time. So, yeah, it is about the journey, about being in the moment - and relaxing about sex is a major key to satisfaction and enjoyment!
Last edited by nycindie; 02-13-2014 at 06:07 PM.