Wow. Not the response I was expecting (except from nycindie).
First, I labeled the thread as graphic. If you didn't want to read it, you were warned. I didn't even really get that graphic about things. I could have gone a lot further.
Second, I wasn't trying to brag at all. In fact, what I wrote was the opposite of bragging for me. I was really afraid that I was going to get a bunch of people telling me crap like "well if you don't know, then you didn't do it right." and other versions of "you're really shitting in bed." or "8 years!! you're an idiot."
Third, the information I gave was pretty non-descript actually and you don't know what partner I'm talking about, so it's not like you can attribute it to one person in particular.
I open up about something that I feel exposed about and I get insults instead? Awesome. FFS, you are strangers on the internet. Wtf was I expecting.
Inyourendo, I have had a grown up conversation with this partner. She understands how my marital history affects my trust issues. When you're thinking dysfunctional thoughts just "having a grown-up conversation" doesn't always fix things. On one level I trust her and know she's not a liar. On a fucked up level my brain still has nagging thoughts and dysfunctional fears. Your advice amounts to "suck it up." which isn't helpful at all.
Dagferi, I'm sorry you were offended, but a) that was not my intent b) you're mischaracterizing my post and c) all you did was repeat the same thing that Inyourendo said. If I'm on a forum board about relationships, I know I need to have grown-up conversations. That's not a newsflash.
What I was looking for was help working through trust issues. Not insults.
Me - male, 42, poly, straight, in a serious relationship with Audrey, also casually dating.
Audrey - female, 20, poly, pansexual, also casually dating.