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Old 02-13-2014, 03:59 AM
ManicPixieNightmare ManicPixieNightmare is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Virginia
Posts: 4

I was never sure if he was flirting with me, although sometimes, I definitely thought/knew so. I started putting effort into pursuing him after my partner met him and told me that he sensed that this boy was indeed attracted to me because of how his demeanor changed when I was around. (According to my partner, he became more "boisterous" and talkative, acting markedly different when it was just them talking. And at the time, he didn't know that he was talking to my partner. My partner has impeccable character judgment and told me to go for it.) He always came around to every shift I was working at the Starbucks where he also frequented, notably after his one close friend happened to come in and then he came in whenever he knew I'd be there. (And we never even talked about it... Weird, right?) After he invited me to go to an event he was performing at, he started being quite rude to me. (I didn't talk to him after the event or anything - he left before it was over.) After that incident, I instituted what I call "second-degree ignoring." I wouldn't initiate conversations with him or say hello because, well, I'm always nice to people (especially when rejecting them) and I'm a very nice person. We had a class together and during the smoke break, it started out with me giving noncommittal, mostly monosyllabic responses while giving him a slight glare. He wouldn't go away, though. I never said "hello" to him ever again, come to think about it. Eventually, my vague bitchitude faded a bit but I still wouldn't initiate conversations and refused to greet him. The immediately following semester, I ran into him when he was with his friend and a girl I heard he was dating and he ran up before them to hold the door open for me and said, "What's up?" (No grinning or anything.) I gave an unenthusiastic "hi" (it was definitely obvious that I felt awkward) and went through the door, just as the two others did. After he'd been graduated for a year, I saw him wave at me from the corner of my eye but I ignored it. He was with the girl who I heard he was dating. In retrospect, he didn't look very thrilled but obviously, if he cared, this whole thing would've been resolved. I honestly did think it was very strange that we never exchanged numbers because we spent a pretty considerable amount of time around eachother.

Keep in mind, I didn't even have this kid's number. It would be one thing if we were good friends and he was having an off day or whatever, but I REALLY wanted to establish healthful boundaries. I recall thinking, "If you can't treat me well, then you won't treat me at all." We weren't even on close enough terms to openly talk it out and I am a VERY open person.

He always came to my work shifts, always sat within my vicinity, made lots of eye contact and did all of the aforementioned things. On the first day of the class we had together, he sat right near me (like, literally, right next to me) but said not a word to me. One of the last weeks of class, I did a presentation on a celebrity and the next week, he came in wearing a shirt of said celebrity. I chalked it off as a coincidence and projection on my part because I wouldn't do things like that for fear of looking like a loser or something. This was far after I instituted the second-degree ignoring. I didn't even say any kind of good bye in reference to his graduation. Like I said, I wanted to impress that he didn't mean much to me and our knowing each other was casual... Yeah, I know that ignoring someone is a great way to demonstrate that you actually care but I honestly just pretended not to see him and resumed my business. But I don't get it. Why do all of that if you don't want reciprocation? I'm all for harmless flirting and always figured that's what it was, but that seems like a lot of effort for someone who's flirting without intent. Also, it's not like he was flagrant about it or obviously hitting on me. It doesn't matter, really, because if he was supposed to be in my life, he would be in it.

But yeah, I'm tired of being obsessed with someone who doesn't think about me and would probably laugh at me, regardless of all of the horrible things that I've been through. Please help.
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