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Old 02-12-2014, 03:53 PM
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Originally Posted by PolyinPractice View Post
More on how to accustom children to being around friends of the parent.
At the risk of being flippant, I'm going to say "bring your children around your friends."

If they see and experience your social life, even on the periphery, then people's presence will be natural for them. Or, at least, not such an oddball event that they latch on to it in some way differently than they should.

I'm not talking about the "night out" type of things - I get invited to those and turn them down when I have my kids, since I can't really intermingle the two (going out drinking is not a kids activity), but I will try to get friends over the house for, say, a cookout or the like. They bring their kids, and the kids will do what they'll do. Younger ones run around like goofballs or play video games together. Older ones sit on opposite corners of the room on their iPods and roll their eyes in unison at us adults.

I wasn't worried about bringing P around the kids because he *had* been a friend beforehand (and would likely still remain in that circle of friends, should we break up). It doesn't make things go swimmingly easy - my oldest daughter still remains at arm's length around him, and I'm not sure if it's some residual post-divorce resentment being tossed his way, or just being thirteen and standoffish in general.

So yeah. If you want your children to see you around your friends more, have your friends around more. Sounds flippant, but it takes effort, scheduling, etc. once you're involving parents and schedules and things.
Dramatis personae:
Me: 47/F, Divorced with 2 kids, 2 cats, fish, a tarantula, and a 1930s house with many projects.
Chops: 48/M, Partner of 6 years.
Spinner: 52/M, Friend I went on a couple dates with. Divorced, Mono, "just friends".
Xena: 47/F, Chops' partner of 6 years
Curls: 50/F, Chops' partner of 1 year

Supporting Characters:
Choplet: Chops' son
DanceGirl: My oldest daughter
Pokégirl: My youngest daughter
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