Originally Posted by seakinganswers
Wow, lots of interesting conversation on the topic!
So I'm assuming if you are married and decide to become poly together then there would have to be certain rules put in place depending on people's comfort level. I'm not saying you try to quantify loving one person more or less than another but certainly you are more committed to your spouse and mother of your children. I may love the hell out of one girl, but if something about it made my wife feel uncomfortable and it was messing up my relationship with my wife then we may have to part ways for the sake of my commitment to someone else I also love.
Or am I misunderstanding how it works? (As if it has to work the same for everyone)
No, you are getting exactly the wrong message out of this. Just because your wife is uncomfortable does not mean you can dispose, or put on hold, a new person. Well, you could, but you don't know that person will still be there when you and she are "ready."
Treating new people as lesser is not cool. If you want to be poly, grow up and let individuals form unique relationships, without controls or limits.