Originally Posted by nycindie
I could never bring myself to refer to anyone I am in a relationship with as secondary. Nor would I want to be considered or treated as secondary.
And what does "degree of connection" mean, exactly? That sounds hierarchical to me.
Suffice it to say that there are plenty of people out there who do not use the terms "primary" or "secondary" and prefer a more egalitarian approach to polyamory, in whatever way that manifests in their lives.
I don't use the terms in describing people, but the depth of connection I associate with a "primary" style relationship takes me a long time to form. I guess it can SOUND hierarchical, but so long as each relationship is free to develop fully, I don't think of it as such.
I guess I don't understand what an "egalitarian approach" really means. Does it mean I must feel equally about everyone, regardless of how well I know them?