We don't have any kind of BDSM/kinky arrangements in our "core Vee"...
That being said - my husband/primary is much more of a "go along/get along" type (Beta) than my boyfriend/"secondary" (I put secondary in quotes because I view us as more of "working toward co-primary") - who is much more of an Alpha-type male...as I am an "Alphas-type" female this often leads to conflict (which we Alphas are comfortable with ...but makes my husband uncomfortable).
Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" Vee-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (together 21+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (together 3+ yrs) and MrS's best friend
Lotus: poly bi female, "it's complicated" relationships with Dude/JaneQ/MrS
TT: poly bi male, married to Lotus, FB with JaneQ
VV and MsJ: bi-women with male primaries, LTR LDR FWBs to JaneQ
My poly blogs on this site:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe