Originally Posted by nycindie
There doesn't even have to be a hierarchy, how about that?
Many of us practice egalitarian polyamory, where no one is primary, secondary, or tertiary at all -- and all partners are considered just as important as any other.
That being said, being submissive has nothing to do with being considered "secondary" or not.
To be fair, Nycindie, you can't really expect someone you just started dating to be as important as someone you've built a life with for twenty years. Doesn't mean there isn't potential for that new person, but that has to be earned and developed over time. I know you know this, and everyone here does, but newbies may not understand that