Originally Posted by illflyaway
A woman pressed charges against my husband for sexual assault, but she quickly dropped the charges. I wasn't dating anyone else at the time, and I insisted that he not sleep with anyone else without going through therapy or I'd leave. He refuses to go to therapy. I still feel committed to my husband and want to make things work, but I'm really unhappy in the marriage.
I recently fell in love with a woman, and I know she has feelings towards me. We haven't acted on them. I know some people make poly-mono relationships work, but I worry it will destroy a relationship since I'll leave if he also sees other people (unless he decides to go through therapy and the therapist approves). I feel like I can't give permission: What if he assaults another woman? I'd feel responsible. I feel a lot of guilt about the first one. I knew from my own experiences that he had problems with consent, and in retrospect, I could see it coming.
On the other hand, living in a monogamous marriage with him kind of feels like a prison sentence.
How do I make this work?
So you believe your husband is a sexual predator and your solution for him refusing rehab is to not consent to polyamory? Sexual predators aren't known for respecting boundaries, for one, and two, shouldn't you sort of feel that you deserve better than a sex attacker and end the relationship?