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Old 02-11-2014, 01:46 PM
illflyaway illflyaway is offline
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 6
Default I Want to Date but Don't Want My Husband to Date

A woman pressed charges against my husband for sexual assault, but she quickly dropped the charges. I wasn't dating anyone else at the time, and I insisted that he not sleep with anyone else without going through therapy or I'd leave. He refuses to go to therapy. I still feel committed to my husband and want to make things work, but I'm really unhappy in the marriage.

I recently fell in love with a woman, and I know she has feelings towards me. We haven't acted on them. I know some people make poly-mono relationships work, but I worry it will destroy a relationship since I'll leave if he also sees other people (unless he decides to go through therapy and the therapist approves). I feel like I can't give permission: What if he assaults another woman? I'd feel responsible. I feel a lot of guilt about the first one. I knew from my own experiences that he had problems with consent, and in retrospect, I could see it coming.

On the other hand, living in a monogamous marriage with him kind of feels like a prison sentence.

How do I make this work?
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