After I suffered a minor melt down, Redpepper and I had a nice long and at first heated conversation about my issues with community involvement.
The solution was in defining what our poly meant. We both want the same thing but I was incapable of seeing any future because I couldn't communicate my own needs to give myself to it. I felt selfish in voicing what I wanted to determine how our future would look. A future that involved security within the poly community.
We now know what our poly is and are flourishing, in love, and so excited to be on track. ...what a huge gift she is to me