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Old 02-11-2014, 05:43 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,435

In the cases where children have been harmed, I'm confused... are people leaving their kids alone with their partners? I'm having trouble seeing how much damage someone can do to your kid when you're right there with them.

I would rather find out sooner than later if there are any questionable traits regarding my partners and their interactions with my kids. The closer you get to someone, the less like you are to see their shortcomings, and the more likely you are to forgive them or brush them off as flukes. Whereas when someone is new and you're still making up your mind, you'll notice every little thing. At least that's how it is for me...

If your kid tells you that someone hurt them after you just met them, you'd trust your kid and send the person packing. But if you've been with that person for two years and they've only ever shown you one side, then you're more likely to say "no, he's not like that" and just assume that your kid is feeling threatened. At least, those are the stories I've heard...

Put another way, "Stranger Danger" was one of the most harmful campaigns in regards to protecting children from abuse and molestation. The vast majority of abusers are close friends or family.
As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.
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