Originally Posted by seakinganswers
We both love each other to death but we are very different people and I'm not just talking about the poly stuff. To be honest I'm not sure I would ever want to be poly with her. In some ways I may rather her just accept that I'm poly inclined and stay monogamous. Because all our differences would be played out to extremes if we both went poly. She would probably try to control every aspect of what was happening until she sucked all of the enjoyment out of it. I definitely have a much more laid back approach to life. I just don't sweat the small stuff.
LOL, this sounds like me and my husband. I'm more the control freak, he's more laid back. While I'd be ok with poly now, I wouldn't a few years ago, but that took alot of work on my part and changing how I viewed certain things. I know my husband is poly inclined (even if he's not ready to admit something so far removed from his Fundi Christian roots). I'm not sure we could survive the step into poly just yet either, beyond his non-sexual gf (or whatever they call their relationship).
Part of the control thing is fear of the unknown. Amazingly, even small bits of "extra" information helps. Like keeping each other informed to your schedule and texts when your going to be late, or there's a change, etc.