Originally Posted by redpepper
I know some mono relationships that operate on the understanding that ones right to independence is important and necessary.........
You are right, we are surrounded by messages that say we should be monogamous, but I don't see the message of "we should be co-dependent" as often at least. That I think is slowly changing the more people look at what keeps them from being happily in a relationship. One or more relationships.... maybe I am delusional or hang out with different people than you idealist?
Yes. the right to independence is important, I agree and I have always had a lot of independence in my monogamous relationships. Unfortunately that wasn't enough for me it seems.
I guess the way I describe co-dependency is "when my sense of peace and happiness is dependent upon someone/something outside of myself" Most of my friends are pretty balanced, but I do have a lover and he is extremly co-dependent with his primary partner. They are actually very entertaining though!! I just wouldn't want to be in that place emotionally.