Originally Posted by LovingRadiance
The thing is; I wouldn't bring someone in the house I don't trust, and thatis precisely why it isn't ok for my partners to bring new people in the house to meet our kids-the fact that THEIR libido is revving does not in any way mean I trust the person they are interested in.
In a poly dynamic like ours-three adults in the house all free to date others; they could *believe* someone is trustworthy because they WANT them to be as they are caught up in NRE. BUt that doesn't mean they ARE trustworthy.
And in fact at least 2 of the 4 women who Maca has been interested in proved themselves NOT trustworthy. One requiring legal action to deal with. :/
So while i hallen to be *generally* very outgoing and social; we learned that trusting his perception of women wasn't a good idea and we tightenedthe stricture of who is welcome to come here and when.
The guys have never had that issue with me; because i won't date someone who hasn't been a friend for at least a year anyway. By which point they have already established themselves as a friend in our GROUP.
But maca tends to prefer to have sex before deciding if dating is an option AND he tends to move faster-in the realm of meeting, a dinner date third date is play time. That is simply NOT enough time to guage someone's REAL self well enough to be bringing them home to the family.
Absolutely. This is why its important to have tdhe time to get to know new people away from your kids or you'll never find anyone suitable. So vital for poly parents.