Originally Posted by PolyinPractice
@Atlantis and JaneQ,
I feel very similarly to you.
As for the other concerns, I can understand not wanting to expose kids to harm. I guess it never occurred to me that I would bring someone into my house that I don't trust, never mind if there are kids present or not.
The thing is; I wouldn't bring someone in the house I don't trust, and thatis precisely why it isn't ok for my partners to bring new people in the house to meet our kids-the fact that THEIR libido is revving does not in any way mean I trust the person they are interested in.
In a poly dynamic like ours-three adults in the house all free to date others; they could *believe* someone is trustworthy because they WANT them to be as they are caught up in NRE. BUt that doesn't mean they ARE trustworthy.
And in fact at least 2 of the 4 women who Maca has been interested in proved themselves NOT trustworthy. One requiring legal action to deal with. :/
So while i hallen to be *generally* very outgoing and social; we learned that trusting his perception of women wasn't a good idea and we tightenedthe stricture of who is welcome to come here and when.
The guys have never had that issue with me; because i won't date someone who hasn't been a friend for at least a year anyway. By which point they have already established themselves as a friend in our GROUP.
But maca tends to prefer to have sex before deciding if dating is an option AND he tends to move faster-in the realm of meeting, a dinner date third date is play time. That is simply NOT enough time to guage someone's REAL self well enough to be bringing them home to the family.