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Old 02-08-2014, 07:03 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,810

I'm having a challenging time giving you feedback because you do not clearly list the "mistake" you think you made. You also do not clearly state the result you hope for.

Could you be willing to clarify what the mistake you think you made even is?

I made a mistake when I _______?
I don't know if my impressions help or not... and I could be wrong. But how it looks right now?

I love them and their kids dearly.
Ok. You know your own self.

They love me and my son dearly.
  • When they fight they push me away. (How is pushing you away loving behavior?)
  • When they both ignore me.... I just wish things could get better for us. (How is ignoring you loving behavior?)

I think you guys could learn to do better conflict resolution and learn to "fight fair." Because pushing you away/ignoring you isn't esp kind when they are the only people you know here. You moved a great distance away from your previous community of friends and family.

If ALL of you are not willing to fix this way of going, you could consider leaving again. Your willingness alone won't carry a 3 people thing. Your 100% effort is only 1/3 of what a 3 people thing needs to run well.
  • Could not put son through watching Mom be a doormat or burn herself out trying to make a thing that won't run, run.
  • Could not put son through watching this and learning that "push people away/ignore them" is the way to treat his own partner(s) in future or that is ok for HIM to be treated like this by partner(s)
  • Watching Mom LEAVE an unhealthy thing could be a better lesson for son to observe. Even if it is a drag to move again.

You don't have to go to Michigan, or if you do, you don't have to live in the same town as your STBX. Or you could live in the same town and not in his neighborhood.

"Build a better life for me and son" can happen anywhere.

It isn't like "Building a better life for me and son can only happen in this relationship where I get pushed away/ignored."

I wish things were better for you -- but I hope you can solve this so you can be healthier one way or another.


Last edited by GalaGirl; 02-08-2014 at 07:08 PM.
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