I'm trying to figure out what is lacking in my life, that I feel i NEED a relationship, rather than just want one.
I've been single before, and didn't feel this intense NEED i feel right now.
It's a new concept for me.
I have been dating, and trying dating different people for awhile now, november I think, before that I had about 8 months hiatus, after again, dating a lot of different people and nothing working out.
I find it exhausting to try and push this issue as clearly with kids and my self employment business it's probably not the best time. Maybe taking a break from pursuing relationships is a good idea. Some break ups were mutual, some were me, some where them, so i dont feel particularly needy..though perhaps I come across that way just because i'm super determined and when i want something i go at it 100%. Also i am in major transition this summer with a move to another country with my girls, so i think relationships will have to take a back burner for awhile.
I also ran myself too thin lately, between education, work, and kids, i had precious little time to date anyway. And this week my youngest got sick with tonsilitis, canceled on future date plans, as she had a temp of 104. It was craziness. So yeah I'm thinking now's not the time to do this poly thing.
I am feeling at peace with this decision and hope that I can continue forward positively from here. I will keep you all informed on how it goes, and if i ever figure out if i'm poly or not.