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Old 02-07-2014, 11:43 PM
Emm's Avatar
Emm Emm is offline
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 811

Don't get too tangled up in the labels. I suspect Memorandum means your use of "polygamous" (many marriages) vs. "polyamory" (many loves - and the subject of this site). Personally I think your meaning was clear.
Originally Posted by SnowCrystal View Post
He also asked me to wait until all of us moved in together so we could "all discuss it."
That is completely backwards. You shouldn't even begin considering moving in together until you have all the details sorted out. Perhaps he's hoping that once you're all living together you'll lack the resources to move back out once you realise what you've gotten yourself into.

Originally Posted by SnowCrystal View Post
The other girl knows he loves both of us and is okay with the idea of all of us being together in a polygamous relationship. I am not. I am the one with the "problem" so to say. I am the one that is not okay with it..... and it has been putting a great weight on me between that and everything else.
If he wants you to be ok with it then he needs to help you be ok with it, and if he's not willing to put in the work then he's not going to get the result he desires. He needs to understand that there's no magic switch you can flick to make yourself suddenly poly and he certainly needs to understand that you're not deliberately refusing to flick it just 'cause you want to make life difficult. I realise we're only hearing one side of the story here, but it doesn't sound to me like he's willing to try.
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