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Old 02-07-2014, 09:50 PM
BillNIndy BillNIndy is offline
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Indiana
Posts: 43


I have to give you credit, you're always so helpful with your advice! I really appreciate your responses and they have given me a lot to process!

Sounds like he is AFRAID it will end badly.
After looking at the situation, that is something I can agree with. I think that he is concerned that IF it ends badly, it could be a detriment to their marriage. The truth is the loss of any deep relationship would be painful, even if there is another partner(s) to fall back on for support. I think there is also the possibility that the pain from the breakup could bleed over into their marriage and cause turmoil. I can see why this is an issue for D.

Did you want to talk about all this with T? Figure out what is the break up preferences are? So if the polyship has to end it can end WELL rather than badly?
We have talked about the breakup preferences (briefly, but it has been discussed). We both (T & myself) believe that if a breakup was to happen that we would prefer that we remain close friends. I do, however, believe this is something we need to discuss more before going too far to work out how this would be accomplished without being uncomfortable or creating undue stress on anyone involved.

If you can't talk about it before you start the trip when you are still kicking the tires checking it all out... you prefer to be talking about after you bought the car, started the journey, and the fit hits the shan and you come to find there's no jack in the trunk?
Very true. I completely agree that everyone must be able to have the "tough conversations". No one in the throws of NRE really wants to think about the possibility of the end of the relationship. It is hard to do when you are going through a period of your relationship that you just want to spend time with the new partner in loving/caring/flirting situations. (Not disagreeing with you, just easier said than done sometimes, but still necessary)

Again, Galagirl, I appreciate your insight into the situation! I've read many of your responses to people on this site and I really think that you do a lot of good in helping others wade through the difficulties/concerns of poly.

It seems as though you've experienced a vast majority of the situations that you discuss. If you don't mind me asking.... How long have you been poly and what form does your poly relationship(s) look like? (Again, not trying to be too personal and do not feel obligated to answer. It's just curiosity as to how you became so knowledgeable on the subject.)
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