Oh, I agree. One of my other experiences has been that once you've healed, you don't tend to want people that would behave this way towards you. However, everyone makes mistakes and we don't know all the facts (we can't), so I didn't want to make a blanket statement. Regardless, the OP really needs to give herself time and effort to heal past damage and get out of a relationship that is obviously adding to the damage.
Me - Mostly mono female, 39 yrs old, married to Leo.
Leo - Poly bi-sexual male, 37 years old. Married to me and looking.