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Old 02-06-2014, 05:30 PM
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YouAreHere YouAreHere is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: SoNH
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Originally Posted by LoveBirds View Post
This is just my opinion. I think it works better when everyone lives together because it's easier to share emotions. I also think you should be sharing all those emotions with everyone and be comfortable with yourselves and others. For me I am not in this situation but soon to be having a GF that has a GF with any luck and I prefer to live together eventually. Just easier to share things as a family. Just my opinon. I don't mean any harm and I am not a pig. Just new here and we are both here. nice to meet you.
I appreciate that your opinion works for you and for your situation, but I've found the word "should" to be extremely damaging when I use it to tell myself that I "shouldn't feel this way" or "should feel this other way." It minimizes what I DO feel until it all comes out in a volcanic eruption of emotion.

For me, this type of relationship wouldn't work. Or, I'd have to REALLY REALLY get along well with my metamour. I have no interest in sharing housing, as I don't want to limit my actions in my own home (walk around nekked if I want? SURE! Let the dishes pile up in the sink for a day when I'm feeling lazy? SURE!). For me, living as a family wouldn't be easier at all.

And if my partner and I are dealing with a problem that doesn't involve my metamour, I have no interest in dragging her into the middle of it (and I'm happy to not be dragged into the middle of their issues). If it's something that impacts all of us? Sure. Let's all get together and talk.

Not to give you grief here - just wanted to state that although your "shoulds" may work for you, they may not work for someone else. See the above "we're all individuals" post by LR.

(Obligatory Monty Python reference: "No we're not!")
Dramatis personae:
Me: 46/F, Divorced with 2 kids, 2 cats, fish, a tarantula, and a 1930s house with many projects.
Chops: 47/M, Partner of 6 years, lives half-time with me, half with Xena.
Spinner: 52/M, Friend I've been on a few dates with. Divorced, Mono, wrapping his head around it all.
Xena: 47/F, Chops' other nesting partner of 6 years
Curls: 50/F, Chops' partner of 1 year

Supporting Characters:
Choplet: Chops' son
DanceGirl: My oldest daughter
Pokégirl: My youngest daughter
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