He told me that she's nervous about this talk too, and that she told him that she thinks it's going to be a verbal beat-down session on her, which is like the exact opposite of my intent. I don't know what to make of that statement but it doesn't help me feel any better about the upcoming chat
You don't have
to make anything of it.
Your hinge shared that she is afraid. Now you know her current emotional state. She's fearful. And? Was he trying to update you for a reason, or just making your aware?
You have no intent to scare her. Cool.
You could choose to let her know that now or at the chat. Or neither.