Originally Posted by LadyLigeia
I'm ashamed to admit that it's always turned me on... I'm not materialistic. With that said, I've noticed that boys didn't treat me well and didn't go the "extra mile" like they did with other girls. I've come to remain aware of normative red flags and conduct. From what I've noticed, when a guy likes a girl, he'll devote energy to her and usually, that involves some kind of material display. I don't require or desire that, whereas I know a lot of other girls who do. With that said, I've noticed that as I age, men tend to appreciate that I am down-to-Earth. I think it has to do with a scarcity mentality kind of thing - People want what they can't have. I'm not like that. If I want something or someone, not being able to have or be with it just upsets me and dispirits me from wanting it/them further. I liked the aspect of lavish attention and casual fun as opposed to d0ll@ d0ll@ billz.
My boyfriend spends more than enough on me. I feel bad when he does. Like I said, I grew up seeing a lot of financial abuse and it really has messed up my perceptions of money. And yes, he is worried about potential coercion. I'm not saying I'm coercion-proof, but previous experiences have taught me not to compromise or let down my boundaries. Major one: No more sex on first dates. It's incapable of negotiation. Period.
Aaahhh, so conflicted...
No need to be ashamed! Actually, this statement shows you are intrigued for more reasons than the money, and despite it sounding ass-backward, if you have an emotional reason for doing this in addition to the money, you are probably more likely to be able to judge when a situation doesn't feel right.
While I am a believer in utilizing every bit of logic, often it is ones' emotions that know that something is wrong before it fully registers logically. If it was just a simple logical weighing of "how much I am willing to ignore my own boundaries based on reward," that can be the path to the hell.