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Old 02-05-2014, 11:35 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Olympia, Washington
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Re (from Magdlyn):
Quote:
"Even if you two never do actually get with other people, it's so nice to just admit you have attractions to others, isn't it? Hiding and feeling guilty about attractions to others when you are in a committed relationship adds *so* much stress. I think even couples committed to monogamy would do well to be able to admit they have occasional attractions to others! We hold ourselves to such ridiculous ideals."
Heh, I sooo agree with that. Just the freedom of truthful expression. Something we lack in our shame-laden world.

Re (from nycindie):
Quote:
"I guess that's why I get so defensive when people come here and start talking about monogamy like it's a prison and bashing monogamists for being narrow-minded."
Eh, I know it's a hot-button topic but I think monogamists and polyamorists alike come to see each other in a more live-and-let-live light when we can just be honest about, "Sure I have the hots for so-and-so, but that doesn't mean I'll throw my commitments to the four winds and automatically pursue them." In most cases of polyamory that I've seen, people still have commitments, and still promise to exercise some self-control. So are we really *that* different from monogamists? Nah, I don't think so. Though I realize RA may defy that conclusion ...

Or does it? Sensible self-control (a.k.a. gratification delay) is a part of every kind of responsible relationship model, both monogamous and non-monogamous. I think that's right, isn't it?

Re (from Daedal):
Quote:
"If someone new asks me if I'm married or have a girlfriend, do I say, 'It's complicated' and launch into my life story? because 'complicated' is exactly what it seems to be at this point ..."
You do, I think; you do.
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