Originally Posted by KatTails
ak - my husband has a nickname for his girlfriend too and it pisses me off. Why does she get one and I don't? We were young when we met and he was just a typical guy - he didn't believe in cutesy things like nicknames which is why we never gave them to each other. Now, he is much more loving, tender and romantic - he's just a different man now. He also uses other cutesy terms for her - but I am going to assume that's due to the NRE that he is feeling for her. He said he would give me one - but that just feels forced and I don't really need one to know I'm cherished - but it does piss me off that she has one. I hate when I hear it or see the word. But I'll get over it eventually.
let him come up with one that he FEELS for you.
When Maca accepted me being poly (and it was hell for him too), I fell in love with him ALL over again. I wanted to call him by something special to show that. I do have a special name for GG and have for a long time, but I have one for Maca too.
It is hard to not compare/contrast. It's not even bad to do so sometimes.
But don't compare your selfworth to the standard of another woman ladies.
As the poly-person in my relationship, I can speak to the fact that there is no comparison.
Maca is sexy in his own right.
GG is sexy in his own right.
I love them both.
You are mothers, THAT makes you beautiful. Have you ever really considered how MIRACULOUS it is that you can create life? THAT is beautiful.
The worst thing that society has done to us women is set us up to compete against one another for our own self-esteem and worse we compete against imaginary air-brushed women.
Right now I have black and blue breasts. No, I'm not kidding. I had a breast reduction for health issues (neck damage). I was an F cup. I had finally lost all of the baby weight (from 216 lbs down to 155 lbs and I'm 5 ft 8). I had that "very curvy" body that we always get taught men like.
Now I have B cups that are black and blue, been wrapped in bandages for 2 weeks. At the 1 week mark with black stitches all over my "pointy sideways football shaped" boobs (used descriptions that were given, no I didn't make that up), Maca took pictures of them. He's in love with ME for ME. He doesn't love me less because I was a busty woman when he fell for me and now I'm not.
Most men don't see the same things we think that they do ladies.
GG made that clear to me when we were talking and he was describing me. I was like, "hey dumbass, I haven't looked like you are describing since 2 babies and 10 years ago!" He stared at me like I was stupid. To him I DO look JUST LIKE THAT.
Look at yourselves in the mirror, every day we woman do that and we pinpoint all the bad spots, yeah yeah yeah, those exist. BUT THIS TIME look for the good parts. REALLY LOOK, no matter how "minor" you think they are, what ARE your good points?
Is it your eyes? Are they captivating? Do you have gorgeous greens?
Do you have amazing lips?
Is your skin awesomely clear?
Is it your hair (Maca LOVED my hair and then I chopped it all off)?
Is it your legs?
what is it?
What is it about YOU that is beautiful?
You all three talk about feeling like the "boring wife at home".
I have 4 kids and regularly care for another 4-6. I'm a sahm. I did own my own business for a few years but due to medical stuff that had to stop.
I COULD be the "boring wife at home", I choose not to.
What do YOU like to do that is exciting?
It's GOOD for your kids to see that making yourself a priority is OK as an adult. You want them to be happy adults, you don't want them to feel like they are "boring" or "unsatisfied" or "not good enough" when they grow up, so set the example of what a happy, satisfied, exciting woman does!
I wanted to learn to ballroom dance. I joined a class, with my then 9 year old son. It was AWESOME! He and I had a GREAT time with each other AND I got to dance with the other adults and he with the other kids in between dancing with each other. We both got to know other people and had a blast. Month two my hubby came as well (once a week class) and we did 4 months or so before I had to stop due to health issues.
It was AWESOME and Maca still enjoys grabbing me and practing a few steps which is fun for us!
I love walking and want to do the ironman (not in ANY shape for that right now) so I started doing it. Now Maca goes with me some of the time and so does GG. Because they see how great it makes ME feel and they want to participate in time with me.
What do you ladies enjoy doing?
Go shopping. Take a girlfriend you trust-go to a lingerie store or even JCPenneys or Sears. Have them help you pick out every imaginable nightie. Take your butt in the dressing room, try them on one at a time, get your friends opinion on which one looks BEST. Which one makes YOU FEEL sexy-then buy it.
Yes I know-money is tight with families with kids-but you're only talking ONE nightie. Even if you only save $5 per paycheck-a couple months you can afford it.
Then-light a candle in your room, put on the sexy nightie, make the bed with clean sheets, toss the blankets off the bed out of the way and wait for him after the kids are in bed.