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Old 02-05-2014, 07:47 PM
Daedal Daedal is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 3

I agree with all you three have said.

NYCindie, MW and I have been able to talk to each other about attractions to other people when it's just a physical attraction to someone we didn't know. But when it got into "feelings" territory, it started to feel dangerous and like something I needed to keep to myself - especially because I value my friendship and didn't want to have to distance myself from this friend. I definitely know where you're coming from on the avoidance issue. Just being able to say something about it to MW has helped me deal with it a lot better and obsess over it less. I might even be able to get over it like a normal person now that it's out there!

Magdlyn, you make a good point. I don't want to rush into anything, though to be honest, now I am occasionally able to feel a little excitement about the possibility of something developing in the future with someone I have yet to meet. I don't know if this is universal, but when I wear my wedding ring and talk to a new female acquaintence about my wife, it's often as if a shield goes up around me - as if my wife is and should be the only woman I can be close to, even as a friend, for the rest of my life. The acquaintence will be polite and friendly, but once you start bandying about the "wife" word, many women hear "off-limits in any capacity other than cocktail conversation with a large group around." So even if the "amory" is slow to develop for me, just the possibility of making more female friends is kind of nice. MW's started an OKCupid profile, while I'm happy to let things develop more naturally for me at this point.

On that note, while being quiet about being married may help me meet people initially, I don't want to deceive anyone. I've gotta start reading some threads about when and how to make the "big reveal." If someone new asks me if I'm married or have a girlfriend, do I say, "It's complicated" and launch into my life story? Because "complicated" is exactly what it seems to be at this point...
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