My Partner is Jealous of (Potential) Sugar Daddy
Hi, everyone! Please help me with this. Next month, I'll have been with my partner for nine years. We have a very open relationship and I've hooked him up with many women in the past. Honestly, I hook him up quite actively. I enjoy it when others get to enjoy him because there is only one of him!
With that said, I've also been enduring financial hardships due to - PLOT TWIST - student loans. I've been trying to find a good job but as of now, I'm working minimal hours at a job that I hate. What I hate more is everyone telling me, "It's a paycheck! Just deal with it!" I understand where they are coming from, but there's nothing more disheartening than sending out my resume all day and receiving no response. My father has a grueling job that pays the bills very well but it's a lot of stress on his body, mind and soul. He's always talking about how hard it is. I am so traumatized by what I've seen him go through at this high-paying but so grueling, that I have lost all interest in having kids and cultivated a very hedonistic philosophy towards life. Even when the bills were all satisfied, my dad was always very stressed about money and the mere thought of being in debt drives me insane. The loan companies expect me to pay almost 950 a month and although it's gotten better, my dad sometimes guilts me about not being able to pay it and being shitty at the menial jobs I've been getting. (I have skills, but none that match the workplaces I've been getting in.) I'm also worried about my dad's health and don't want the strain or stress to shorten his life. Although he's mostly loving, his job often shortens his temper threshold and he rages. As in, he yells and berates. I'm really grateful to have food/shelter and I love him, but it's so stressful not making money. Sometimes, thinking about my finances makes me feel suicidal. It used to happen more often than it does and it's gotten better since I stopped crucifying myself for not being able to find a job.
I used to work as a Pro-Domme and developed personal relationships with clientele while they were still giving me money. I used to cam, but felt bad doing it under my parents roof. I'm into older men and love to make people happy. If it would make someone happy to help me out in a legal way, then all the better. I used to struggle with financial domination and even asking dates or clients to buy me stuff because I grew up seeing my dad's pain and my mom's reckless spending. It was basically financial abuse. I'm not a golddigger at heart. I rejected one of my best friends, a secret millionare, because I didn't feel that way about him and money honestly doesn't turn me on. I just can't standing feeling helpless or suicidal anymore.
After getting rejecting from one job I really wanted and finding out that another was a scam, I was devastated. Scared for the future, I signed up for SeekingArrangement.com and started my adventure.
The thing is, my boyfriend is upset by it because he doesn't like the idea of someone else financially supporting me. He is not at all controlling and nothing but supportive, but he doesn't like the idea of someone being my "daddy" or whatever. I tried to explain my point of view to him - how my anxiety over finances has been very detrimental to my life, my previous friendships with actual submissive clients I genuinely got along well with, such as the one who wanted to take me on a cruise - but he's still really uncomfortable with it. Now, he's even said that he doesn't want my parents coming to our wedding because of how much he thinks they've screwed up my thinking. (We're not planning on getting married anytime soon - It was hypothetical.) I tried to tell him that sugar daddies usually want genuine intimacy but also want a casual romance where they provide help out of their own volition, but he still disapproves. I don't want to upset him, but I've been chatting with two guys I've met on there who seem really great. One wants to give me 350 on our first date, no sex or anything like that. I'm a total newb but I understand that sugar relationships aren't entirely transactional and totally legal. After all, I('d) go by the intensity of the connection as opposed to getting with any Dick, Tom and Harry who came around.
I would REALLY love your insight. We don't restrict eachother's sexual or emotional autonomy but he also is upset because he knows that financial distress led me to do this, although I've clearly told him the other reasons. I don't truly understand how this is different. He said it's because someone gets to say that they are my "daddy" and he overall disapproved. I told him that it's not like I ever wish that he made more money and it's not a reflection of his inadequacy. I know he desperately wants to get his own place so that I can move in and finally live in true peace. I am just always afraid of getting yelled at in my current situation. I'm always paranoid and walking on eggshells.
Please help! This forum has given me the best relationship advice and insight, help which FAR exceeds the help I've gotten from any other community I've been involved with. You guys are seriously the best and I love how you go to such lengths to extend guidance. You are the only people I know of who would understand.
Last edited by LadyLigeia; 02-05-2014 at 06:46 AM.
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