Due to the gap between *knowing*
something and *feeling*
something, you'll need to repeat a three-step process many times over ...
- talk it over.
Possibly in a differing order, but those three things, rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat ...
Journaling is your friend, it gives you practice at articulating your thoughts and feelings, which you and MW can then share with each other, and then go learn some more about poly. Reading others' journalings for instance! Sometimes you won't even know what the question is until you've heard a wide variety of answers.
I agree with the idea of each of you pursuing the shade, shape, and size of poly that suits each of you best. There is such a variety of ways to do poly (and responsible non-monogamy in general) out there, and no "one right way" by any means.
Keep us posted on how things are going!