Originally Posted by LovingRadiance
I think your partner and your metamour need to realize that YOU are an individual and YOUR comforts need to be taken into consideration regarding how everyone acts in a group function before group functions are put on the table. But-that also means that you need to state your preferences clearly and concisely.
That is it exactly LR! My partner, bassman, and I discussed this yesterday when I picked him up from work and again before he headed over there for his overnight. He completely understands and although at some point in time he'd like for me to "hang" with all of them, realizes I am not ready and also acknowledges I may never be ready.
But before he left, I wanted to make sure he's clear with wild orchid on this. That for me and the kids, if we all "hang out" together PDAs are off limits and no sneaking off to a bedroom or the garage either. Not at this time...the future, I can't promise anything and the future may have to look like the present. I'll find out when we connect tonight after I'm off work. So tentatively we're on for Sunday but I'm still thinking even if she agrees that I have limits, she can't follow through and I just don't want to be in that situation.
I'd love to hang out etc, but last time he stated clearly to her my boundaries, what I was comfortable with, etc and some where (he read to me what he sent her about my limits and it was not vague, very clear) it got lost in translation or just plain disrespected or testing my limits in person which caused a huge fight on the long icy drive home that annoying night back in Dec. I don't want that to occur again. Otherwise I'll just say "fuck it all. I'm done with this relationship" and part ways when we can afford to. That is not what I want but I want my boundaries respected as I respect theirs.