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Old 02-04-2014, 05:32 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 9,512

Originally Posted by aharri32 View Post
Here is probably where I should admit my biggest problem with this relationship. J is not comfortable with the idea of C or I having separate relationships.
Ugh. One Penis Policies are so utterly disrespectful. What a load of crap he's handing you.

Originally Posted by aharri32 View Post
He and C tried that once and he couldn't handle it . . .
In other words, he simply isn't ready for polyamory. Therefore, he shouldn't be having multiple relationships unless and until he can handle his partners doing the same. Relationships are not supposed to be dictatorships.

Originally Posted by aharri32 View Post
Again, initially, this wasn't a concern of mine because I, personally, still view myself as loving one person and wanted a relationship with JUST him. Now that we're six months in, I worry about telling him that it's changed for me.
What kind of relationship can you really expect to have with this man if you can't talk to him?

Go ahead and date whomever you want. It's your life, your body. He is neither your boss, your parent, nor your owner. He is someone you are still just getting to know - six months is not very long.

Keep in mind, you don't need his permission to live your life as you see fit. Don't go to him like a beggar asking if it's okay with him for you to follow your desires and have what you want in life. It isn't his decision to make. Your freedom isn't his to grant.

You can tell him that you want to see other people, too, and that you will start dating and hope he can accept that, but then the onus is on him to deal with his discomfort and any other feelings he has about it. He has a choice of whether or not to stay in the relationship with you, but he doesn't get to tell you that you can't date other people.

Talking to him about this doesn't have to be a confrontation or emotional scene, either. Just figure out what you want and calmly state it to him as a matter of fact.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

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Last edited by nycindie; 02-04-2014 at 05:36 AM.
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