Originally Posted by alibabe_muse
Is it wrong to not want to get close to everyone, at this time? Is this moving super fast or is it normal speed? I'm a pleaser but when I do things I'm not comfortable doing, well then it causes a huge fight between bassman and I.
If you aren't ready, then the time isn't right.
Talk this TO DEATH before doing it if you're at all unsure:
What level of PDA are you comfortable with in front of you and the kids?
What level of PDA are you comfortable with in front of you when the kids aren't there?
I went through something similar when P, M1, and I were invited to our first get-together without kids, and it went horribly wrong. Awful miscommunications, a perception that M1 was receiving the lion's share of the attention, that P wanted more of a "girl on each arm" and I wanted to avoid being "put on display" as opposed to just enjoying a party with P. It went badly, involved some friends ostracizing P, and it took a lot to pull ourselves out of the aftermath. There is still some bad blood between some of my friends and P/M1, and this still leads to drama today.
I hope your situation wouldn't go THERE, but if you're at all worried about it, make sure you have your ducks in a row before you go. The BBQ, with kids and other partners/metamours around, is no place to find out that it's going badly.
Mono. Divorced, two kids (DanceGirl, 13; and PokéGirl, 11), two cats, one house, many projects.
My partner. Poly. In relationships with me, Xena, and Noa.
Poly. In relationships with Chops and Noa, and dating others.
Married, Poly. In relationships with Chops and Xena (individually).
Blog thread: A Mono's Journey Into Poly-Land (or, "Aw hell, there's no road map?!")
Slightly more polished blog with a mono/poly focus: From Baltic to Boardwalk