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Old 02-03-2014, 06:25 PM
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YouAreHere YouAreHere is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: SoNH
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Originally Posted by alibabe_muse View Post
Is it wrong to not want to get close to everyone, at this time? Is this moving super fast or is it normal speed? I'm a pleaser but when I do things I'm not comfortable doing, well then it causes a huge fight between bassman and I.
If you aren't ready, then the time isn't right.

Talk this TO DEATH before doing it if you're at all unsure:
What level of PDA are you comfortable with in front of you and the kids?
What level of PDA are you comfortable with in front of you when the kids aren't there?

I went through something similar when P, M1, and I were invited to our first get-together without kids, and it went horribly wrong. Awful miscommunications, a perception that M1 was receiving the lion's share of the attention, that P wanted more of a "girl on each arm" and I wanted to avoid being "put on display" as opposed to just enjoying a party with P. It went badly, involved some friends ostracizing P, and it took a lot to pull ourselves out of the aftermath. There is still some bad blood between some of my friends and P/M1, and this still leads to drama today.

I hope your situation wouldn't go THERE, but if you're at all worried about it, make sure you have your ducks in a row before you go. The BBQ, with kids and other partners/metamours around, is no place to find out that it's going badly.

Good luck!
Dramatis personae:
Me: 46/F, Divorced with 2 kids, 2 cats, fish, a tarantula, and a 1930s house with many projects.
Chops: 47/M, Partner of 6 years, lives half-time with me, half with Xena.
Spinner: 52/M, Friend I've been on a few dates with. Divorced, Mono, wrapping his head around it all.
Xena: 47/F, Chops' other nesting partner of 6 years
Curls: 50/F, Chops' partner of 1 year

Supporting Characters:
Choplet: Chops' son
DanceGirl: My oldest daughter
Pokégirl: My youngest daughter
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