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Old 02-03-2014, 06:14 PM
alibabe_muse's Avatar
alibabe_muse alibabe_muse is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: North Idaho
Posts: 346
Unhappy Anxiety - Not ready

Sooo, wild orchid and the hunter have invited us over for a BBQ on Sunday. When the invites were happening yesterday I honestly thought it'd be postponed for a bit or wouldn't be so soon (original invite was for Saturday).

Kids are invited too and the hunter's OSO (other significant other) will be there too. It didn't hit me until now that I'll be the "oddball" there. And I don't think I'm ready for this.

I understand my metamour and her husband would like our families to be super close and they are very wonderful people but all of a sudden my anxiety is up and I realize I'm not ready for in person love share (being okay with watching my partner be all kissy with my metamour). I know some love this but for me personally I am just not there,yet. Maybe I will be and maybe I will never be.

I'm feeling really pressured by outsiders to become this poly-like family (is that it) community. I just don't know how to tell our hosts I'm not ready. Yes that's it, just tell them. I've already told bassman I can't go, just am not there mentally for that. I know it's only a BBQ and playing board games, but really? The Hunter will have his girlfriend there, wild orchid is in so much NRE with bassman that based on past experience my boundary in person request wasn't respected then and I just don't see it being respected now either.

If this was after my busy work season and I hadn't just got over my issues this weekend, maybe I'd be ready but I'm not.

Is it wrong to not want to get close to everyone, at this time? Is this moving super fast or is it normal speed? I'm a pleaser but when I do things I'm not comfortable doing, well then it causes a huge fight between bassman and I.
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