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Old 02-03-2014, 05:32 PM
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YouAreHere YouAreHere is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: SoNH
Posts: 1,341

Hurt my lower back a couple weeks ago, making it nigh-impossible to get to some of the things on my "resolution list" or even to get to some of the normal day-to-day stuff that needs to get done at home. Ugh. It's improving, but not there yet, and now the one form of regular physical activity I get (spinning classes) are now on hiatus until I can get back on a bike for 45 minutes without hurting my back even more.


Time to become one with my treadmill and start walkin' (cue Nancy Sinatra music).

Getting out of my holiday funk (had way too much "together time" with everyone) and finally being a bit more friendly on Facebook with M1. When I've hit my limit of together time, I tend to just back off from her in person/correspondence after a while, especially since she's always all over Facebook and I don't really have any other way to get a "break" (*). At that point, it's time to curl up with P and look inward - to our "little us" rather than the "big us" - for a while, until that need to reconnect diminishes a bit.

It's what she hated when she was trying to be closer friends (repeated emotional push/pull), but now that there's no pressure to be besties, I'm not feeling as awful about it. Coming back of my own accord feels better than coming back because I feel badly about hurting her feelings. I'm trying to get out of the habit of acting out of guilt as opposed to acting out of my own reasons. Hooray for baby steps, I guess.

In other news, P is dating someone else again. She seems pretty nice, and someone I'd actually be friends with OUTSIDE of her relationship with P, so that's a plus. She's an old-school anime fan, so that gives her a bunch of bonus points with me. Her husband is dating M1 (and she is also dating M1) as well, so it ends up diagramming out like a square with a diagonal line between AnimeGal (henceforth known as AG (**)) and M1 (with the little spur between me and P hanging off one of the vertices). I'm actually looking forward to meeting her in person (so far, we've friended each other on FB), and think that when we do, it won't have that "meet the parents" feel that it kind of did when I met M2. Fingers crossed.

So... looking at more snow (some models are saying 15") for Wednesday, and P's arranging the schedule so that he can be here with me (as the reigning Lady of the Bad Back) when the majority of the snow hits, which I appreciate much, even though we now have a working snowblower. If you think scheduling a poly relationship with two differently-located co-primaries sounds hard, try adding two sets of kids and their activities AND snowstorms into the mix. GAH! Between the kids' calendar I share with my ex, my own personal calendar, and the shared calendar between P, M1, and myself, my poor Google Calendar looks like it exploded. As the one who suggested the calendar in the first place, I feel such a love-hate relationship with it at times, it's scary.

Such is life, I guess. It's better than having the same obligations, but not knowing what or when they are!

Okay... Back to work for me. And time to get up and walk around and loosen up the back some. Sheesh...


(*) For a long time, I've felt perplexed by M1's behavior on FB versus real-life. She's an introvert in person and quiet (very quiet) in group social settings. On FB, she seems very extraverted - posting, sharing, commenting, etc. in very demonstrative, "big" ways. Back in the early days of our relationship, I used the words "over the top" and triggered P's protective anger for a bit. I still feel that way from time to time, and that doesn't really help my being able to relate to her. I know introverts sometimes feel protected online, in a way, like it's a social safe zone, but I don't "get" it, and it's just one of those things that makes it so tough to relate to her. Not that she's doing anything wrong... just that my perception is of two different people sometimes, and it's very hard to reconcile.

(**) I started to go with "AnimeLady" but hated the fact that it abbreviated to AL and would sound like a guy.


Edited to add:
Writing down the above about M1 (the introverted IRL / extraverted online) made me think about it a bit more. I don't like feeling like she's being duplicitious (I'm pretty sure she's not), and figured I'd poke around a bit to see if the whole "introverts on social media" had been looked into before.

Of course it has. This is the age of the Internet, after all.

Found this link and a few others:

Nothing all that amazingly special or scientific about it, but this quote made sense to me:
In my opinion, social networking is the middle ground between introverted activities and extraverted activities. It gives introverts a chance to network with others, on a business or personal level, while remaining in our own comfortable world, and it allows extraverts to stay connected with the outside world at times they would otherwise be alone.
If I'm alone (snowstorm, for example) with little to do, I go stir crazy. If I can't get out, I'm online. I *need* to connect with people. So I didn't understand how someone who gets their "recharge" from being alone would want to be all over FB as well. For me, it's a (lackluster) replacement for in-person social activity. For her, I'm guessing, it's a very different animal.

We all see things through our own filters. It's interesting to read articles written from someone else's POV. Much like why I'm on Poly boards.
Dramatis personae:
Me: 46/F, Divorced with 2 kids, 2 cats, fish, a tarantula, and a 1930s house with many projects.
Chops: 47/M, Partner of 6 years, lives half-time with me, half with Xena.
Spinner: 52/M, Friend I've been on a few dates with. Divorced, Mono, wrapping his head around it all.
Xena: 47/F, Chops' other nesting partner of 6 years
Curls: 50/F, Chops' partner of 1 year

Supporting Characters:
Choplet: Chops' son
DanceGirl: My oldest daughter
Pokégirl: My youngest daughter

Last edited by YouAreHere; 02-03-2014 at 10:33 PM. Reason: Added the Social Media / Introversion link...
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