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Old 02-03-2014, 01:25 PM
bookbug bookbug is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 757

Originally Posted by aharri32 View Post
Here is probably where I should admit my biggest problem with this relationship. J is not comfortable with the idea of C or I having separate relationships. He and C tried that once and he couldn't handle it, but she is fine with him having another relationship. Again, initially, this wasn't a concern of mine because I, personally, still view myself as loving one person and wanted a relationship with JUST him. Now that we're six months in, I worry about telling him that it's changed for me.

I'm just being a big weenie, huh? I'm not a very confrontational person, so telling him my concerns at all was difficult. I'm not looking for him to actually give me the resources he and C share because I do know that it's not possible or fair of me to ask.
While the whole one penis policy is philosophically problematic at best, unless he is willing and able to give you a full blown co-primary relationship - move you in, give you kids if you want them, share finances - then what he is asking of you is totally unrealistic and selfish.

I am dating my best friend, who I adore, but he is fresh from a divorce, totally immersed in his kids - in a phrase, mostly unavailable - and he encourages me to date because he loves me and doesn't want me to be alone. That's how poly is supposed to work.
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