Originally Posted by CielDuMatin
And how long should it go before it has reached that critical point, in your opinion?
I, too, like things to last - I enjoy being with people I love and having them as a part of my life. I am not an NRE junkie at all, in fact I don't really enjoy it much. I enjoy things after the NRE has quietened down.
I know poly configurations that have stayed together for years quite happily, and have lasted longer than most monogamous marriages.
Which "critical point" are you referring to? The point where the relationship falls apart? Well, when I say "stand the test of time", I mean lifetime. In days of old, it was not uncommon for married people to remain married to each other their entire lives until "death do them part".
In todays day and age, it is COMMON (all TOO common IMO) for a relationship to last just 5 years or less. This is not only "common", but ACCEPTED. This is not acceptable for my wife and I. We took vows when we got married, and we took them SERIOUSLY. Now, our vows did not say that we would be monogamous or forsake all others or anything so archaic as that, but they were our vows to each other. To love each other and to remain married until we were separated by death.
Is it too much to ask for a Poly relationship to have the same values? I don't think it's too much to ask, but I think it's too much to actually have come true. In todays day and age, we live in a disposable society. Too many people figure that if they're current relationship isn't working, then they can discard it and move on to another. If thats the way a person feels, then why get married in the first place? Why commit to a relationship in the first place? Any kind of relationship that is. Why not just stay single, and go through life with just a lot of small relationships which mean nothing.....Why hurt anyone in the process?
Sure, my wife and I have our ups and our downs....But we have been married 19+ years because we are willing to compromise and communicate with each other.