If you're already feeling a bit insecure, throwing a helping of "...and it's not even poly" on top isn't going to help.
Originally Posted by aharri32
Does anyone have any advice about how to express my concerns in a different way?
Try describing the specifics of what's bothering you rather than attributing behaviours to a label and blaming that. It's probably not that you're wearing the "secondary" label that bothers you, it may be that you can't share resources and time the way J does with C. It may be that you feel you have to be closeted. It may be that the way he expresses love is different from the way you perceive it. It may be something completely different, but whatever it is, saying "I'm not happy with being a secondary" isn't going to help anyone deal with the issue that's actually causing the problem.