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Old 01-31-2014, 08:47 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 6,275

If I am approaching them to ask them on a date? I want to know if they are willing to date me and if they are able to date me.
"Hi. I like you and would like to ask you on a date. Are you open to dating at this time? Are you already partnered? Kids? I am_____."
Mono-single, poly-single, mono-partnered, poly-partnered, something else -- IME it's best to sort that stuff up front for myself.
  • If they are not willing to date me? They just are not.
  • If they are not able to date me because they are mono, they do not live here, they are in mourning, they just had a baby -- whatever it is? I rather know it up front.

Saves time/effort/energy/cost of date -- don't have to look deeper here because some basics just do not line up to make a date worthwhile at this time.

If I get asked out? I state it up front. My "willing & able." They ask. I figure they can handle knowing.
Lastly, if someone approaches you and doesn't ask your relationship status, what does that say about them? That they're not aware of the prevalence of non monogamous relationships? That they don't care if you're cheating? Or they assume people don't cheat?
It means they did not ask about it when they first asked me out. We are still having a conversation, right?

So I now have opportunity to respond. I could offer my data up front when I respond, and I could ask questions of my own in return about their stuff.


Last edited by GalaGirl; 01-31-2014 at 09:03 PM.
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