I am wide awake and restless tonight. I really miss cuddles.
I've realised that I really need more intimate time, touches, days with Adasan that I am just not getting. Right now this month we have seen each other twice i believe. Maybe 3 times. Certainly not more than that.
That's just not enough.
So I sent him an email to address the problems. UGH. I understand his life is busy and i'm fourth priority on his list, and he on mine, but i think we need to try a little harder or it's going to end up being friends with benefits and not a real relationship. How can i relate emotionally/mentally with someone who barely calls/texts once or twice a week, and most the time i'm instigating. i have no problem chasing, i mean i make the effort for equal communication, but i do want responses and i want him, more of him, bleh.
I have tried really hard in this relationship to balance my own neediness, but now i feel its perfectly rational as his girlfriend to want to talk once a day, on the phone, not texts! (or skype or something!) I just miss seeing his face, seeing him laugh, seeing him PERIOD. And I really get reassurance from a physical presence and communication that things are ok, that we're ok, and that we're heading in the same direction.
I've been up all night and not able to sleep. Doesn't help I've been under the weather the past few days.(Cold sore throat) At this rate no point in sleeping at all as girls have to be up for school soon. I may as well start breakfast early!
I'm just really confused by this relationship as it's very different from any other relationship i've ever had. What has been normal in the past is men who wanted to push themselves on me hard and fast, and i had to take my time deciding what i want and go at a slower pace, this is the first time dating someone at the same pace as me, who takes his time and goes with the flow like me. so if we both go with the flow, who initiates? lol.