Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.
I can't think of a "Step A, Step B" procedure for assembling the kind of poly configuration you're looking for; it is in fact my observation that poly usually configures itself, and defies our initial wishes, ideals, and/or expectations. You have to be open to the possibility that what happens may actually prove to be better than what you thought would or wanted to have happen.
Having said that, I think your best odds would be (for you and/or your partner) to just get out there and start meeting people, letting them know early on what your hopes and intentions are for a future relationship. We have a Dating & Friendships subforum
on this site which is a great place to start. Also I know of two good poly-friendly dating sites:
And, you can look for local poly groups in your area. Some sites to help with that are:
"As for where to meet poly people, if by some chance you are interested in anything alternative like Renaissance fairs, goth culture, sci-fi conventions, indie music, bdsm, or any small fringe group, you will be more likely to meet people who have at least heard of poly and are accepting of it."
-- SpaceHippieGeek, Polyamorous Percolations
Even if it's not an "alternative" type group, if there's a club or something in your area that does something you're interested in, you can always join that group and it just gives you a way to get out there and meet people. If you meet someone on a platonic level and get to talking about poly, then they can decide how they feel about it without any "pressure to agree." Then if they do decide poly doesn't bother them too much, and some kind of romantic connection subsequently develops, you'll already have "had the poly conversation" with them.
These are the best ways I know of for hooking up with someone in a general poly sense. To get the specific dynamic you're after, you'll have to use your judgment on when to tell the people you're dating exactly what you want. Generally earlier is probably better than later for something like that.
Hope that helps a little.
Kevin T., "official greeter"
There's a *lot*
of good info in Golden Nuggets
. Have a look!
Please read through the guidelines
if you haven't already.
Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods
if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.
If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.