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Old 01-29-2014, 08:34 PM
bofish bofish is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 221
Default Haven't Posted in awhile/nasty private messges

Hello there! I haven't posted in awhile; I have been trying to avoid the net. I wanted to share a private message someone here send me; just for the sake of showing what misunderstandings can happen ; NK wrote

Two things - stop acting like everyone hates you because you're "disabled", and stop using your "disability" as an excuse to not be a better person.

Every time someone tries to reach out to you, you shut them down.

I plan to ignore you from now on.

Have a day. :|

This person also wrote me saying I have a "loveless marriage" and I should stop moaning. I wonder what makes this person so upset?

I hope I don't shut don't people who reach out... people like GalaGirl, OP, Bookbug, London, and even Daferi have given me great advice and love. As an update, part of the reasons for my not writing is that hearing I need to get over my married guy was hard to take. But it was right. We have not been in contact for two weeks and I feel great.

In not sure what NK means by I "use" my disability to be a better person. I'm actually a really GOOD person who gives money and helps people all the time. My writings on disability (while not popular) are at their core to help people with disabilities gain respect and equality. I may sound jaded from time to time or bitchy - but that just comes from the struggle - the struggle of being turned down for jobs and called retarded and so on. But, I am imperfect. I loved a man who cheated. I get jealous of my husband's girlfriend. I am human. People on the list do things that horrify me...they vote dates, they are controlling,. but I don't send them nasty emails. Everyone is doing the best they can.

Honestly, and this has happened many times, when I write about being happy with my disability and not wanting to be different, the biggest backlash comes from those who are struggling with their own perception of their own disability that the have yet to disclose. I talk about my disability a lot because it informs who I am, who I fuck, and who I date or don't date. To not write about it would be rejecting part of my life that is fundamental. and something people have not heard before....I more than realize that not all disabled people see it my way - when a person GETS a disability their entire world is shattered and they are suffering. But that is the story we commonly here. There is room for al stories.
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