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Old 01-29-2014, 07:24 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

Originally Posted by PolyinPractice View Post
He's perfectly fine with you being married. You need to be fine with him wanting to date, as well.
Whoooah! While yes, it is true that she needs to come to terms with his wanting to date, she is trying to deal with her feelings over it and find a solution. She admits to being confused and surprised by her own reaction. To say she just needs to "be fine with it" is a bit flippant, don't you think? Maybe it's just how it reads on print, but to me that statement disregards the process she's going through now.

Originally Posted by PolyinPractice View Post
She may very likely want a primary relationship with him, and he with her. It sounds like you and he have a secondary relationship; he deserves a primary relationship of his own.
In addition, not everyone practices polyamory within a hierarchical set-up. I don't think that's really how Cleo views her relationships.

Originally Posted by PolyinPractice View Post
If you can't handle this, don't be poly.
Cleo posted this to express what is going on with her and to find support on how to handle it. Saying "don't be poly" is not very compassionate and comes across as finger-wagging, IMO. Everyone has their own path and feelings can pop up unexpectedly and take us by surprise.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

Click here for a Solo Poly view on hierarchical relationships
Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.

Last edited by nycindie; 01-29-2014 at 09:08 PM.
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