revisiting this thread because it looks like I'm in the same situation - well not quite - but with a different guy.
Brig and I have been dating for a little more than 3 months now. He has no experience with poly. He seems perfectly fine with the fact that I'm married and have other (not very defined and somewhat complicated) relationships.
Last week he told me he's thinking about dating a woman he connected with on OKC, they knew each other years ago and always had a crush on each other. He wanted to ask me how I felt about it? I got the feeling he was being really considerate. That I am important to him and that he does not want to hurt me. BUT. It was like I was thrown into a time warp. Am I really going to go down this road again? Guy meets other girl, she's single, he has mono tendencies, wants her to be his primary? Is it my stupidity that has landed me in the same situation? Or is the situation actually not the same at all and am I just triggered by similarities?
Ugh so confusing. I'm obsessing about him starting to date and slowly ( like what happened with previous BF) falling for her. I don't think I can do that again. But how to separate the things that are actually happening from the things that I think will happen? I don't want to make the mistakes I made with C - constantly asking for reassurance etc. I need to trust. Have faith. Why is it so hard...
early forties, straight.