Opal, I agree and so does miss pixi, that Ginger needs to have my expectations and needs spelt out. Also, he is a doer. Men are "fixers." Hey, I like having a big guy with broad shoulders and long arms and legs to hang a chandelier or move a couch. Awesome. Great.
I know I can't change him. I can change how I do things. If I want more kink, I see I need to make that happen. He enjoys it when it happens, he just won't initiate it. OK, I can deal. Even if I want to be in a sub position during the kink, I have to PUT a flogger in his hand. You know? So, I am not really a sub, but I still get my jollies.
So, these are 2 good things that happened recently to make me feel safer and more valued and "special." But.
So, a little while ago, 2PM, I said hi to him on chat. I knew he'd been to the grocery store because we'd chatted earlier. He didn't say hi when he got back so I did.
Did I already mention that this past Monday (today being Friday), Buddhist had 2 dates in one day with two new okc guys?
A day or so after Monday, being in the throes of hellish flu, I asked Ginger how that went. He said, he knows she went on the dates and that is all he knows. So, today, his date with her imminent, I asked him if she had sex with these guys. And if she'd had The Talk, and used condoms if there was sex.
He replies, as far as he knows, he was pretty sure she had sex with both and probably had the safer sex talked and that she insists on condoms.
BUT, I had a typo and wrote safe sex instead of safER sex. So, he felt a need to correct me and tell me there is no such thing as safe sex, yada yada. I said, it was a typo, I meant safer. The only "safe" sex is masturbation and cyber/phone. Then he derails it more by saying he recently injured himself masturbating. (har de har har).
Getting back on track, I attempted to ascertain if she'd had the SAFER sex talk with them! He tells me she was just tested and came back clean for everything except the HSV1. Well, she just had sex with 2 new guys so, so much for those test results! She could've gotten chalmydia from oral or a case of HSV2, who knows?
But he was all, I thought you weren't going to think about all this. I had told him I was too sick with the flu to have energy to think about Buddhist's sexual choices, but that didnt mean I now want a DADT thing going on! Sheesh! I am still interested to know the status of the vagina and throat in which my fluid bonded partner is about to stick his dick!
tl;dr: My partner's new partner is maybe at this moment having sex with someone who had sex on two first dates in one day with 2 different guys. And she was ready to have sex with Ginger on their second date without having a safer sex talk.
Back to our phone convo. He said, yesterday or tomorrow would've been a better day to "freak out" on him than right now. (I didnt think I was freaking out, I was just trying to determine Buddhist's sexually transmitted disease status, but whatever.) He then said he needed to pee. I said go ahead.
Then before I saw he came back online he said, I think I should go now. xoxoxoxoooo. And signed off.
What can I do? Go back to condoms, for one thing. If Buddhist is having sex with 3 new partners in one week and Ginger is bringing up the rear, bye bye fluid bonding.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
Mags (poly, F, 61) loving miss pixi (poly, F, 39) since January 2009, living together since 2013
In a newish relationship with Steve, (33, poly)
"Master," (mono, 36), miss pixi's Dom for 3 years
Last edited by Magdlyn; 01-28-2014 at 11:39 PM.