Ourquad-read that book a couple times.
I am very much a "switch" in the love languages, and having read it a few times, I am pretty (no one's perfect) good at taking symbols of love from any of the 5 and seeing them for acts of love.
For example, on another thread I mentioned a kid (he's 17)who I ADORE, great kid. Well his love language is Acts of Service, no doubt about it.
When he asks me (which he does all of the time), "does your water bottle need refilled? Do you want something from the kitchen?" as he gets up to go to the kitchen, I always always always tell him (usually the answer is no), "no but THANK YOU his name here, that's so sweet and I love you!". I also try to do for him, grab him a blanket, make his plate if I cook dinner/breakfast, etc. Because acts of service is his love language.
Because, that's HIS way of showing love.
When Maca is touchy feely-(I really had to teach myself this) I respond with I love you and try to return the physical affection, because HIS love language is physical touch. I also try to make a point of caressing his cheek, grabbing his butt
, stroking his hair and making love, even when there isn't anything I can get from it, because that makes HIM feel loved.
GG is usually pretty good at acceping love in a number of forms, but he's very much a cross between time and physical touch, except not necessarily sexual touch like Maca. I make sure to give him a hug goodnight, goodbye, and taking time to sit and talk (usually about nothing in particular). That's generally all it takes. He's not even REALLY particular about it being one on one time, just time/attention.
But-the thing that REALLY kicks my ass is when I'm NOT doing well (which isn't often in the big scheme, but has been a LOT since Thanksgiving due to my multiple surgeries). When I'm not doing well, is when my true love language is the only one that REALLY works, and that is time. The "acts of service" (like the bag he mentioned) comes into play but it's not a love language issue, it's that I can't lift the bag LITERALLY and I can't drive it to the consignment shop so I'm dependent on someone else to do it.
Maca works in another town, he leaves before the shop opens and he returns after they are closed.
My sister works here in town-but she works West of our house and the shop is East.
GG on the other hand passes by the location of the shop every day for work........
For the things I can't do because of medical issues I try very very hard to minimize "taking advantage" of any one person or asking anyone to do something that really would be "going out of their way to do".
In this case-my sister and Maca ended up taking time out of work to take the bags for me... because GG kept putting it off, for MONTHS-literally. So not only did all those thing you mention about my feelings come up (and yes the bag is an example and there are lots of others) but also his procrastination meant that other people had to rearrange their days to do it and in this case it was a much bigger task for them than it would be for him AND they know it since we all live together, so he also annoyed the piss out of them...
Anyway-he's getting in the shower now, so I'm going to try to read a little before my friend shows up to take me for a walk.
Love my walks!!