I just wanted to reply, as well.
I really hope my post doesn't make my husband out to be an uncaring douche, because that is far, far from the type of person he is.
He has been right by my side this entire pregnancy, throughout our struggles to conceive, and our whole married and dating life. I have some issues with infertility and his love and support is the only thing that got me through it. It is very difficult to understand how gut wrenching dealing with infertility is until you walk in those shoes. We had to work for our little guy! We both feel very blessed that this is happening for us after being so afraid it may never.
It was the support I found through a board geared toward my specific fertility issue that gave me the idea to suggest my husband look into finding a board to help him sort out his feelings for M. The funny thing is, when I brought it up to him, he was already checking out this site. He sent me his post, I read it and checked out the site a little. When I expressed an interest in also joining, he was excited that I was interested in learning more about how his mind works.
He and M's relationship is non-sexual, and though they had discussed "hanging out" outside of the work place, that never happened. They built their feelings off of a lot of text messaging, phone calls, and working in close proximity. He has not ever really let his feelings/messaging with her interfere with the time we spend together.
At this point, he is more interested in helping me understand his feelings, rather than trying to convert me into thinking the way he does. To be honest, I don't know if I will ever fully grasp the ideas of a poly relationship, but the reason I am here is to, at the very least, find some support for us both, and hopefully gain a little understanding.
Do I wish this never happened? Well, truthfully, it's kind of a yes and no... I do not really like the idea of my husband having feelings for another woman, but this has really opened up our lines of communication like never before. He has gone from, to a point trying to hide the fact he was texting M, to summarizing their conversations to me, to now sending me screen shots of all of their communication. He is taking the steps to end things with her, as civilly as he can, since they will still be working together in close proximity. Her actions of late are really helping him get through this, too. We are hoping that once our son is born and we get a few things in order, he can resign his position and stay home with our baby while finishing college. He supported me through school, and I would love to return the favor.