OP, you can start by recognising you have become infatuated by a twisted monster. If that doesn't cool your cockles and realise that you should regard her with contempt, not puppy dog adoration, than I don't know what will. You have an amazing wife, who is about to give birth, stop being such a sap and take care of your responsibilities.
You are a very, very lucky man! Don't screw it up!