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Old 04-07-2010, 04:31 PM
kamala kamala is offline
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Deepest Darkest
Posts: 51

Everyone seems to have really sensible advice. We don't know what happened in your past, but intuitively I would say that you be careful with yourself and maybe try resolve that before moving into dynamics with other people...

In my case at least, I found that willingly putting myself in a situation with others, and opening myself up to that risk etc., brought up a lot of weaknesses, amplified them and made me look at them THEN AND THERE.

Polyamory has a way of poking a finger right into the things that hurt the most. In that sense I think it's an amazing way to grow and change as a person, but if you're not feeling grounded to begin with, maybe make that your priority...?

I think in time, this stuff gets easier, but with my SO's now ex-girlfriend, it never got easier, because it was never something she fundamentally wanted. And so it wasn't a constructive struggle towards something, but just her hurting herself.

I think you're wise to take it slow

Perhaps this could be an opportunity for you to heal some of those past hurts?
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