This DADT thing is hard to manage, especially living together. And tbh I'm starting to think that was never even truly on the table to begin with. Gf made it very clear she didn't wanna argue about this stuff anymore and told me she knows what I need and that I'm going to do what I want... But just as my therapist warned me it's just a cop out to avoid truly dealing w things. Bc then when I DO go & do what I want there's arguments, accusations, passive aggressiveness. Icky drama that makes me feel bad.
I love her so much and everything else in our relationship is wonderful, happy, perfect. But I want to date other people and I don't think she will ever be able to accept that. I feel so selfish and stupid even considering giving up this amazing love I've found for the freedom to be with other people. But I can't help but feel so strongly about it. Idk what to do. And I know I sound like a god damn broken record going around in circles with this but it's just not easy.
This DADT stuff makes me feel like shit. I feel like a liar and a cheater which I DESPISE. Thats not me. That's not who I am or what I believe in. Wtf??? How did I get here???? What am I doing??? I feel so fucked...!!!! ;(